Genre of my Life

Always thought life was a movie,

A movie where we get to decide the plot,

A movie where we get to write every line, with the choices we make

Or maybe life was a song

Written about that one perfect girl

That the guy can’t help but fall in love with.

And as a romantic at heart.

I wanted the genre of my life to be a romance

A romance I’ve been seeing in movies

A romance I’ve been listening in songs

A romance I’ve been reading in books.

And so I idolized the perfect guy

Mr. Perfect that looked like those Hollywood heartthrobs,

Mr. Perfect that I thought would get me my teenage dream

And as hopelessly romantic as I am

I never got my teenage dream.

I never got a song written about me.

I never walked into a room and met my soulmate.

Cause that was the dream right?

So I gave up on the romance genre

And my life took on the genre of inspiration.

The type of movie you buy when you need motivation.

The type of movie that’s at the corner of the movie store eating dust.

So I started working out

I started reading self-help books

I started taking part in the “productivity culture”

A productivity culture that was so toxic it made me hate myself

I would punish myself in a severe way that one cannot imagine of

“You didn’t do this?” “Well you won’t have this”.

Made me think I won’t get anywhere in life

If I won’t follow it

If I don’t worship it

If I don’t obsess over it

If I don’t know my “it”

But for who am I perfecting this movie?

For who, do I keep adjusting every script line?

Do I have an audience?

An audience to this one-woman-show?

An audience to this confusion?

An audience to this catastrophe we call a life?

Sadly, I think not

There is no audience out there

There is no audience, to please

And gladly so,

No audience but me.

I’m writing this script for me

For me to be pleased

To get to that happily ever after that every genre seems to have.

So I’m letting it be a hybrid thing

Letting it be a cross-genre

Letting God be the director, Producer, screenwriter, composer of it

Because I think he is the only one capable of writing in any genre.

And I’m following the script, reading every line.

Proving it to perfection, waiting, dreaming, working towards that one line,

“The End”.